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It’s human nature to want answers instantly. We can send a text message and get one back in 3 seconds. Hungry? Throw something in the microwave and zap it for a minute and just like that dinner is served.

We want results faster, relationships faster, and we want to get places faster. We have NO time to sit and wait.

I am really starting to believe that this trial that we’re going through is for us to learn some big life lessons. Patience. Faith. Perseverance. These lessons are the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn.

A year later and I’m still trying to learn them. I have started reading my bible more, I have joined a women’s bible study group at church, and I have studied the word by myself. But when I really sit and think, am I doing all of this so that maybe God will look down and say ” Okay, she’s being obedient to my word. I guess it’s time for me to give in and give her what she’s been begging me for. Here ya go! *flicks some magical sparkly dust on me* go forth and multiply!”

You know, if I’m being honest, that was my initial thought behind this. This is me being completely transparent and completely human. But God doesn’t work that way.

I truly thought if we stop wandering from church to church and join one then maybe God will see that we’re trying. (Not to say that we didn’t fall in love with our church, because we definitely did.) That turned into hey, maybe if I volunteer at the church God will see that I’m putting in an effort to serve him. Maybe he knew that’s what I’d do? Obviously, he did, he knows everything. Duh.

But what started as me trying to earn God’s love and blessings has turned into a burning desire in my heart to dive into his word. To talk to Him. To cry out to Him.

Some days I feel like I pray more than I breathe. No matter how I got to the place I’m at, I’m glad I got here. I know that no matter where we go from here it is all for His Glory.