How to Talk to a Suicidal Friend
I’m not yet a mental health professional, these are tips I’ve picked up along the way as a Crisis Counselor Volunteer and Therapy Graduate Student.
The first thing I want you to know is this: if a friend or family member mentions having thoughts around “ending it,” “taking their life,” “killing their self” or anything else regarding suicide to you - please know that you are a good friend.
It takes a lot of courage for someone to say those things out loud.
One of the most important things that you can do if someone you care about talks about suicide is to remain calm and just listen. They need you to encourage them to talk and then they need you to listen carefully.
+ Don’t be afraid to use direct language. Contrary to popular belief, using words like "suicide", “are you thinking of killing yourself?", and "dead” aren’t going to put those ideas in their head.
+ Just listen to them. Don’t judge. Don’t argue, and don’t list out all the reasons they should stay here. Just listen.
+ Don’t invalidate their pain. It’s simply not true that everyone who mentions suicide is doing it for attention. Never assume someone is seeking attention when they talk about suicide. Don’t say things like “why would you want to do that?”
Be Clear & Get Answers to Better Help Them
If they’ve mentioned things that make you think they are having suicidal thoughts, (Things like: “I’m just a burden on everyone.” “The world would be better off without me.” “I just want this pain to stop.”) ask questions in order to assess the situation.
First, verify they are thinking of suicide by using direct language we talked about earlier, “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
If they say yes encourage them to reach out to Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741741 or encourage them to call the suicide hotline at 800-273-8255.
If you feel they need immediate help, please call 911.
We can’t force people to see a therapist, but listening to them without judgment, and encouraging them to text or call for help is the easiest way to be there for them. Reassure them that you’re there to listen, but that it also might be helpful to reach out to these sources. When people are going through heavy emotions and life situations, it isn’t always easy to reach out for help.
If you need help while helping a friend or family member through tough situations, you can also text “HOME” to 741741 and a Crisis Counselor can walk you through how to help.