Mothering with ADHD: How I'm Creating Structure That Works for My Brain (Copy)

I Thought Structure Meant Rigid Schedules...

Before I knew I had ADHD, I thought structure had to look like color-coded planners, rigid routines, and perfectly executed mornings.

It never worked.

I’d try a new system, get overwhelmed, burn out, and blame myself for not being “disciplined enough.”

Now, I know better.

Mothering with ADHD doesn’t mean I need more discipline — it means I need structure that’s kind, flexible, and actually ADHD-friendly.

What I Need as an ADHD Mom (That I Used to Ignore)

• Visual reminders (because out of sight = out of mind)

• Flexible rhythms, not strict routines

• Low-effort systems that work even when my brain is tired

• Space for rest without guilt

• Permission to drop perfection and choose good enough

Here’s What’s Working for Me Right Now

1. I Use Anchors, Not Timetables

Instead of a rigid schedule, I build my day around anchors — things that happen in order but not at set times:

• Wake up → Coffee → Kids’ morning routine

• Lunch → Outside time → Quiet play

• Dinner → Tidy up → Wind-down

It gives my brain predictability without pressure.

2. I Write the Same Things Down Every Day — On Purpose

I used to feel silly writing “make breakfast” in my planner… but now I do it on purpose. Why?

Because my ADHD brain thrives on visible cues and task-based momentum.
Even crossing off little things helps me build flow and confidence.

3. I Build In Margin

I expect things to take longer. I build in breaks. I plan one hard thing per day max.

Margin is my way of being kind to my executive functioning.

4. I Use Visual Systems for My Kids, Too

We have visual checklists for homeschool and morning routines.
Not only does it help my son (who’s also neurodivergent), but it also helps me stay on track without being the human reminder system all day.

I’m Learning to Mother Myself, Too

Some days, structure feels like freedom.
Other days, it feels like trying to herd cats.

I’m learning to offer myself grace — not shame — on the hard days.

Mothering with ADHD is not a failure to plan.
It’s an invitation to design life differently.
Softer. Simpler. Smarter for your brain.

Gentle Reminders for My Fellow ADHD Moms

🌼 You don’t have to do it like everyone else.
🌼 Your brain isn’t broken — it’s just wired for different tools.
🌼 You’re not lazy. You’re managing more than people realize.
🌼 Small systems count. Tiny habits matter.
🌼 You’re already doing more than enough.

Share This with Another ADHD Mama

If this resonated with you, leave a comment or tag me on Instagram @sitwithbritt__ — let’s create space for each other to thrive.

Lessons my mama taught me, just by living

I’ll spend a lifetime trying to understand how a woman who’s been to hell and back - more times than I can count - made up her mind that her way to move forward through the struggles would be to just love harder.

She is the living embodiment of turning ashes into beauty.

The woman who has witnessed me change a million times, but has chosen to love and accept every version of me.

In the ups and downs of our relationship - we have forged our unique bond, molded by the dance of love and conflict that only mothers and daughters can truly know.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the depths of my identity and the wisdom ingrained by my mother's unspoken lessons, shaping the very core of who I am today.

1. Our Creator is in everything, everywhere, always. You can pray anywhere, anytime. There are no rules to your spirituality.

2. There is value in working hard at whatever it is you’re doing.

3. It’s important to look out for each other. (I once watched her help an elderly woman find her way home from the grocery store, which is a core memory for me that she probably doesn’t even remember because that was just normal for her).

4. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

5. Water can cure anything. A hot bath, a jump in the lake, and sometimes your own tears.

6. “It’s alright.” It used to drive me crazy when she’d say “It’s fine” or “It’s alright.” But there is so much truth in that! If you’re alive enough to verbally say “It’s alright,” then whatever it is you’re going through is probably going to end up being ALRIGHT. 🤙🏼

7. Family is everything.

8. Forgiveness is a vital part of life: without forgiveness we have nothing & we’ll end up lonely and bitter.

9. In life, storms will come. But eventually, they will end & the sky will clear. (You might as well pull up a chair on the front porch and relax while it passes.)

10. The little things are the big things. A full moon, wildflowers popping up unexpectedly on the side of the road, stumbling upon fresh veggies at the farmers market, hearing a really good song with lyrics that are just right, uncontrollable belly laughs. These are the little things that make my soul come to life.

I wouldn’t be who I am without the love of my mama. ♥️

The birth of my daughter... the birth of myself

When I gave birth to my daughter, I gave birth to myself.

Trust me, I know how “woo-woo” that sounds.

During the IVF process leading up to my pregnancy - the doctor appointments, the pills, the hormones, the shots, the blood draws, the surgeries, the miscarriage- all during a global pandemic - I felt pieces of me slowly being etched away. My view of the world was changing, my beliefs were shifting, it felt like every single thing about me was changing evolving and no matter how hard I prayed for it to stop, it just wouldn’t.

I vividly remember the day we discovered we would have a little girl. My husband and I were in my car on the rooftop of the parking garage at my doctor’s office. (It’s the easiest level to park on and the views are the best). We opened the envelope that held the black and white sonogram which would reveal the next chapter of our lives. I remember the pure shock washing over me, followed immediately by tears of joy - which quickly gave way to worry. Worry for her future, for how she would make her way in the world.

The next thing I knew - months had passed and I was being rushed in for an emergency c-section, three weeks early.

During the past two years of nurturing this beautiful, little soul, I've experienced an inexplicable awakening within myself. It's like rediscovering parts of me that had long been buried, perhaps since childhood, now emerging into the light. I’ve come face to face with my own strengths, thoughts, and beliefs, unapologetically embracing them without concern for judgment.

This slow evolution of change within myself had started pouring out into the way I mother my children.

My inability to understand why, in the religion I grew up in, women and girls have always been seen as the “weaker sex,” and the “submissive” partner has become something I cannot look away from.

I’ve lost all desire to align myself with a faith or religion that looks at a particular gender as less than. I am not just my husband’s “helpmeet.” And I am beyond thankful for a life partner who doesn’t look at me as such.

I’m distancing myself from all of the ways my past religion dictated how I, as a woman, should navigate the world.

It often felt like I had to seek forgiveness from God at every turn. I lived in constant fear of being left behind while others were raptured due to my rebellious nature of having doubts and too many questions. Always vigilant about dressing modestly to avoid tempting my 'brothers in Christ'. Having dreams of traveling the world and helping people, but being told that God might call me to be a missionary wife, but not a missionary.

Whispering prayers before I drifted off to sleep every single night so I didn’t accidentally go to hell if I died in my sleep. Praying that my salvation was real, and if not then maybe you’ll come into my heart again, Jesus, just to be safe. Beating myself up for screwing up and not saving myself for marriage, even though I vowed to God that I would. Basing my worth as a person on the fact that I was a filthy, wretched sinner who was worth nothing unless I was fully, wholly, dedicated to my religion.

(In case you haven’t caught on - it’s crystal clear why I and so many women who were raised in the bible belt have anxiety today.)

 The worth of my daughter goes far beyond the constraints of the religion I grew up in.

She will never have to question her worth based on invisible societal rules implied by others.

With the birth of my daughter came the rebirth of myself, including the voice I had silenced for far too long.

I vow to never stifle my voice again.

For her, and for me.

I'm All Your'n

I have never been a big concert fan but have always been obsessed with words and lyrics that make me feel something. I fell in love with Tyler’s music when I first heard “Way of the Triune God,” because something about it reminded me of singing in choir with my grandma in the little bitty church I grew up in. It reminded me of going with her to listen to southern gospel bands, where I LOVED to hear how deep the bass singers could go. It makes me feel grounded in who I am now, even though I’ve completely changed from the little girl I used to be.

Music has been a constant in my life - from my parents playing all the greats throughout my childhood, everything from Patsy Cline, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Gary Stewart, Conway Twitty to Lynrd Skynrd, Alan Jackson, Bob Segars and everything in between. I’ll never forget belting out “Delta Dawn" with my mama, and my dad having a CD made for me to listen to the night before my wedding with just one song on it - “To a Sleeping Beauty” by Jimmy Dean. I still can’t listen to that one without bawling like a baby. I’ll always remember laughing so hard my ribs hurt while trying to practice the Salt-n-Pepa “Push It” dance with my sister to perform it at my wedding (that performance never happened, I can’t sing OR dance but my sister was great). I used to dream of becoming a photographer who worked with bands to create album cover art.

When “In Your Love” by Tyler Childers came out it brought back so many memories of my husband before we even started dating. He waited for me and swears to this day that he knew what he was waiting for. I played that song to death- until my husband had the lyrics memorized too. I think I played it so much that he figured I ought to hear it in person so he bought me tickets to see Tyler Childers live and I can’t find the words to describe it.

Music is the one thing for me that always brings on deeply nostalgic emotions. The past and present intertwine seamlessly, and although different lyrics can bring on memories of people and moments I miss, I wouldn’t trade the journey through time for anything.

So I'll love ya 'til my lungs give out
I ain't lying
I'm all your'n and you're all mine

-Tyler Childers

Pros and Cons of Going to Grad School - A Hilariously Honest & Sleep-Deprived Take

Considering whether to take the plunge into the world of grad school? Well, fear not, dear reader! I present to you a hilarious list of pros and cons that will help you make an informed decision. Just promise not to blame me if you find yourself laughing or crying uncontrollably throughout this journey.

Pros

1. Endless Intellectual Stimulation: Feel the exhilaration of drowning in research papers and textbooks, realizing you're barely scratching the surface of knowledge. Who needs sleep, anyway?
2. Eternal Student Status: Enjoy the strange, twisted satisfaction of being able to say you're "still a student" even when you're pushing 40. Student discounts? Yes, please! #ForeverYoung
3. Prestige and Ego-Boost: Can't you just taste that sweet ego boost when someone addresses you as "Master" or "Doctor"? Get ready to revel in newfound respect and a tinge of superiority.
4. Expanding Your Network: Grad school introduces you to an array of brilliant minds, all struggling and panicking just like you. Bond over shared traumas and maybe, just maybe, you'll make lifelong friends amidst the chaos.
5. Reaching New Heights of Procrastination: Bask in the glory of becoming a master procrastinator. Suddenly, tasks like organizing your sock drawer or alphabetizing your spice rack will become incredibly tempting. Is that a thesis to write? Meh, later!
6. The Delightful Art of Stress-Eating: Say goodbye to a life of portion control and healthy eating. Embrace the comfort of an empty bag of potato chips as you endure thesis-induced meltdowns (extra points if they're shaped like dinosaurs).

Cons

1. Endless Financial Drainage: Embrace the art of living on instant noodles while your student loans laugh maniacally from the shadows.

Maybe

I started writing this poem shortly after we found out that we were pregnant with a little girl. I was writing it for her at first but now I realize it was a love letter to both of us. The idea of raising a little girl who would one day become a woman scared me. I’m 32 and still learning how to love myself. I’m still figuring out who I am and re-writing my story.

I’m working on worrying less about what people think of me and more about what I think of myself- I was worried about how I was going to teach another female how to be confident in who she is when I’m still working on that myself…

But now that she’s here, I’ve realized that if she can watch me always trying to be better than I was the day before - then maybe that’s all she needs. Maybe that’s all any kid needs.

Maybe

Maybe if I decide to love the soft parts of my body

she’ll never know how to hate hers

Maybe if I keep choosing to grow, even when it’s easier to stay stagnant

she’ll know no other way but forward

Maybe If I fill our home with laughter and flowers

she’ll never stop blooming

Maybe if I love her daddy freely, openly, and without restraint & let him love me right back

she’ll see the kind of love she deserves

Maybe if I stay vulnerable

she’ll see that it’s okay to be tender in a hard world

Maybe if I keep wrestling with God and the unknown

she’ll see that faith isn’t something to blindly accept, but a lifelong adventure

Maybe if I hand out forgiveness willingly

she’ll know the steady rhythm of grace

Maybe if I let her know that I don’t know all the answers

she’ll stay curious

Maybe if I keep learning to use my voice

She’ll never question hers

Photographer: E. Dixon Photography

Coffee & Milk

Every night he tells me “I’ll see you in the morning for coffee and milk! I’ll drink the milk you’ll drink the coffee” I can’t help but think about how our special time - just mama & Tripp - is going to change soon… but I don’t want to think about that right now.

I just want to linger in every sun-soaked morning where we talk about the dreams we had, the quality of sleep we got, and what we want to do that day.

We waited and prayed so long for this baby and now that she’s almost here it seems like time is speeding up. All I want to do is absorb all the time I can with my first baby before he’s not my only baby anymore.

Slow

Slow is the steady speed of grief.

No one told me how long it would take to allow myself to feel joyful during my pregnancy after a miscarriage.
No one talks about the amount of anxiety that comes along with a new pregnancy.
The constant sending up of prayers that there wouldn’t be blood every time I go to the restroom.
The wondering why I’m not feeling any movement followed by a flood of discouraging “what if’s…”
That never ending nagging feeling that the other shoe is about to drop at any minute.
The learning to hold my cautious optimism loosely in my hands.
All of the nightmares followed by sleepless nights.

Slow is the steady speed of joy that comes after pain.

The exhale of gratitude after every kick.
The constant whispers to my belly to “please just stick around a little bit longer..”
Overwhelming feelings of relief after hearing the heartbeat, every single time.
The silent tears that slide down my cheek when my husbands hand on my belly elicits movement from our baby.

Slow is the steady speed of learning to trust again; both my God and my body.

6 Mutual-Aids to Donate to in DFW

I had never heard of the term “mutual aid,” until the crazy winter storms we got hit with here in Texas last month. Scrambling to figure out how I could help the houseless and those without power while I was stuck and waiting for our few minutes with power - I quickly realized that the people running mutual aid non-profits are the ones with their feet on the ground, helping people who need help the most. I have so much respect for these people.

Especially when one of our senators decided to take a quick vacay…I won’t name names but you know who you are Teddy Cancruz…

A mutual-aid system is not a charity. To me, it is simply people helping their neighbors. You know, that part of the bible we like to skim over sometimes, “thou shalt love thy neighbor”….

I wanted to share a list of hard-working mutual-aids I’ve discovered. I know the effects of the covid-19 pandemic have so many people in need of a bit of help. Please comment below if you know of some that I haven’t listed here!

Feed the People Dallas: Donate to them via Paypal here.

Funkytown Fridge: Venmo @FunkyTownFridge. Follow their Twitter.

Dallas Stops Evictions: Find the Camp Rhonda Amazon Wishlist here.

- Camp Rhonda is a spot in Deep Ellum where people who happen to be houseless camp out in their tents because the shelters are full and they have nowhere else to go. Dallas Stops Evictions has also created this email template for you to fill in your name and send it to the Dallas City Council on behalf of those staying at Camp Rhonda.

DFW Mutual Aid

Not My Son DFW : Venmo: NOTMYSONDALLAS Cashapp: $NOTMYSONDALLAS

North Texas Rural Resilience: Donate on Venmo & Cashapp $NTRR4yall

Let me know of any mutual-aid groups that you are apart of or any that you know about!

Gift Guide for the Homebody

Disclaimer: This website uses affiliate links, meaning: at no additional cost to you, I earn a small commission if you click-through and make a purchase. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. However, I only feature products that I believe in and use myself. Your support means the world to me and allows me to host this website. Thank you!

If you weren’t a homebody before 2020, chances are you’ve somewhat adjusted to life as a “homebody.” I’ve been practicing my whole life for social-distancing, so I’m kind of an expert in this area. Whether you’re searching for a gift for your “homebody” friends, or you just need to find something cozy for your introvert sister - look no further. I’m just pretty much going to give you all my wishlist.

Keep scrolling for easy clickable links to each item!

1. Homebody sweater. I don’t own this one. Yet. But I need it.

2. Geode Bath bombs. Who doesn’t love a hot bath? Especially with a cool bath bomb.

3. Faux fur weighted blanket. No words needed, this thing is gorgeous!

4. Electric kettle. We originally bought this one to make pour-over coffee and it is perfect! Now we use it for making hot tea and anything else that requires a bit of hot water, because it’s just so fast!

5. Reading light. My 3 year old is always stealing mine to hide under his blankets and read. This is a must have for any homebody.

6. The Little Book of Hygge- Have you heard of “Hygge?” I'm a word lover and the first time I read this word I knew I needed to know all about it. According to the Oxford Dictionary, Hygge means: a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture). (It’s pronounced "hoo-guh," to clear up any confusion.) I bought this book last year and it’s precious. All the cozy vibes.

7. Weaving loom! This is in my amazon wishlist because I have been drooling over those beautiful loom tapestries all the talented artists are making over on Etsy. Like this one. I swoon.

8. How cute is this “Warm & Cozy” candle? I’m convinced that every homebody loves the word “cozy."

9. Calm bath salts. I’ve never used these but the aesthetic of the bottle alone is enough to make me want to try them.

10. This gorgeous lettering book. Personally, doodling is such a stress reliever for me. Especially learning a new skill like calligraphy.

I hope this list sparked some ideas for your homebody friends, or maybe even yourself!

It is 2020, we all have a little “homebody” in us this year.

Get Cozy & Stay Safe.

Everyone Deserves a Second Chance

April is Second Chance Month

and no I’m not talking about your ex

Pop Quiz!

Which country in the world has the highest number of incarcerated people?

If you guessed America, then you are right on the money, honey!

Nearly half of those are serving time for non-violent drug charges (many of those being marijuana - which is legal in many states now. Ironic, huh?)

Well, were you aware that there are around 44,000 legal barriers keeping people down once they re-enter society?

Was our society established this way on purpose? Hmm…

These barriers are things like the denial of civil rights, denial of food assistance and housing discrimination, denial of higher education funding, denial of the right to vote, and employment discrimination.

Drivers licenses and identification cards are often revoked or suspended while people serve their time. They are still expected to figure out how to pay for & get their i.d. back in order to (hopefully) find a job, and find and pay for housing. Then they have to pay court costs, pay restitution fees, probation, drug tests, community service, etc. all while being able to make it to their job.

It’s a vicious cycle that way too often leads to homelessness & recidivism.

re·cid·i·vism

/rəˈsidəˌvizəm/

noun

noun: recidivism

1. the tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend.

-Oxford Dictionary

The Statistics & How Mass Incarceration Disproportionately Affects Communities of Color

“Today, people of color make up 37% of the U.S. population but 67% of the prison population. Overall, African Americans are more likely than white Americans to be arrested; once arrested, they are more likely to be convicted; and once convicted, they are more likely to face stiff sentences. Black men are six times as likely to be incarcerated as white men and Hispanic men are more than twice as likely to be incarcerated as non-Hispanic white men.” - Source

{There are many theories for these statistics; implicit bias, over-policing in communities of Color (ever since the “war on drugs” & “get tough” era), and dare I say racism & classism. . That’s a whole other sociology lesson for another day.}

Ways We Can Help

• Watch this talk given by Michelle Alexander (civil rights lawyer & advocate) at The University of Chicago for a better understanding of why Mass Incarceration is often referred to as “The New Jim Crow.” Michelle Alexander has also written a book I highly recommend, titled The New Jim Crow.
  
  

• Pushing our state leaders to establish “Ban the Box” in all 50 states.

Click here if you need help figuring out who your House representatives are, and go here to find contact information for your senators.

• If you own your own business you can choose to be a Second Chance Employer.

• Go here to send an email, call or tweet your state and local representative to encourage them to implement the First Step Act, which helps those trying to re-enter society by expanding in-prison programs, such as faith based programs and educational resources for a successful re-entry into their community. This website has made this process incredibly easy!

• Donate to Friends of Justice

Helpful Links for Formerly Incarcerated Folks

1 in 3 Americans have been incarcerated in their lifetime, so chances are you know someone who has been or is currently incarcerated. Here are a few links to job training sites and helpful information for those seeking a job.

Prison Fellowship - such good stuff here!! They are doing so much good work in & out of prisons. Their vision: “TO SEE ALL AFFECTED BY CRIME RECONCILED TO GOD, THEIR FAMILIES, AND THEIR COMMUNITIES.”

Second Chance Jobs

The Ride Home Program. This program hires those who have previously been incarcerated and they give rides to people when they’re being released from prison. “We offer free and safe transportation to a pre-approved residential reentry center that provides ongoing housing, employment, and sobriety support. We also provide immediate counseling and services, including purchasing new clothing, toiletries, and other basic essentials, and maintain contact with released prisoners during their reentry process. We are actively involved in prisoners’ lives once they are released from custody, helping provide services and programs that assist the process of returning home and reentering communities.” - Source

Companies In the Business of Second Chances

Cornell University Job Training Tips (Lots of great info on this site!)

“We educate job seekers with criminal records about their legal rights to help them integrate into the workforce. Education includes relevant Ban the Box statutes, Human Rights laws, and federal laws―including Title VII and the Fair Credit Reporting Act. We also train prospective employees about their background screening report and how it may impact employment. We provide training with an aim toward opening pathways to employment for the justice-involved.” - Source

Other Texas Resources

ACLU of Texas

P.O. Box 8306

Houston, TX 77288

(713) 942-8146

(713) 942-8966

acluinfo@aclutx.org

www.aclutx.org

Friends of Justice

2706 Meadow Hill Lane

Arlington, TX 76006

(817) 688-6765

www.friendsofjustice.wordpress.com

Texas Civil Rights Project

1317 Rio Grande

El Paso, TX 79902

(915) 532-3799

main.pcrp@gmail.com

www.texascivilrightsproject.org

Texas Criminal Justice Coalition

1714 Fortview Road, Suite 104

Austin, TX 78704

(512) 441-8123

www.texascjc.org

Texas Fair Defense Project

314 E. Highland Mall Blvd, Suite 108

Austin, Texas 78752

(512) 637-5220

http://www.fairdefense.org/

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

— MATTHEW 25:34-40

At tempor commodo ullamcorper a lacus vestibulum. Gravida quis blandit turpis cursus in hac habitasse platea dictumst. Consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Donec et odio pellentesque diam. Aliquam sem fringilla ut morbi. Massa id neque aliquam vestibulum morbi. Placerat in egestas erat imperdiet sed. Quis eleifend quam adipiscing vitae proin sagittis nisl. Condimentum id venenatis a condimentum vitae sapien pellentesque habitant morbi. Non consectetur a erat nam. Porta nibh venenatis cras sed felis eget. Eget duis at tellus at. Aliquam faucibus purus in massa tempor nec feugiat nisl. Semper viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet. Ac tincidunt vitae semper quis. Eget mauris pharetra et ultrices neque ornare aenean. Semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar proin. Aliquet eget sit amet tellus cras adipiscing enim eu. Fusce ut placerat orci nulla pellentesque dignissim enim sit.

Laoreet id donec ultrices tincidunt arcu non sodales neque. Accumsan lacus vel facilisis volutpat. Maecenas ultricies mi eget mauris pharetra et ultrices neque ornare. Quam adipiscing vitae proin sagittis nisl rhoncus mattis. Ut venenatis tellus in metus vulputate eu. Cursus sit amet dictum sit. In nulla posuere sollicitudin aliquam. Aliquam vestibulum morbi blandit cursus risus. Eget est lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur. Donec ultrices tincidunt arcu non sodales neque sodales ut. A iaculis at erat pellentesque adipiscing. Arcu dui vivamus arcu felis bibendum ut tristique. Interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis. Quam viverra orci sagittis eu volutpat. Vitae sapien pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus. Ullamcorper sit amet risus nullam eget felis eget nunc.

Toddler Strabismus Surgery

When we found out that our son would have to have strabismus surgery, my husband and I were both in a state of shock. I'm not the kind of person who can step into any situation without conducting thorough research. The good, the bad, I have to know all of it. Especially when it concerns our son.

I searched the internet over and found maybe a handful of helpful, current articles from parents whose children underwent strabismus surgery, so I thought this article may be helpful to someone! 

This is going to be a long, detailed post. I’ve included headings so you can scroll as you please.

I’ll start at the beginning, with his diagnosis.

Diagnosis

The process with our ophthalmologist began when my son was 21 months old.

We had noticed his right eye kept crossing in. Several people (not-so-lovingly) would point it out to us, just in case, we didn’t notice. “Hey, guys, Uhm, do y’all know his eye is crossed?” Hmmm. The things people say to parents. Seriously, more than one person said this to us.

My husband thought maybe he was trying to be funny and was crossing his eye on purpose. sometimes even wondered too, undoubtedly because neither of us wanted anything to be wrong with our baby. My “motherly instinct” kicked in, and I decided to see his pediatrician about it. Our pediatrician was quick to refer us to an ophthalmologist.

At our first appointment

Dr. Ranelle diagnosed him with strabismic amblyopia and monocular esotropia in his right eye, as well as astigmatism and hypermetropia in both eyes.

In other words, that all just means that he has very poor vision when he is trying to look at things up close, and the muscles in his right eye are particularly weak. His brain was starting to shut off the pathways to that eye. We were given a strong prescription for glasses and instructions to make him wear these every day. Most importantly, the doctor told us that the glasses should help his right eye to get stronger and hopefully stay straight.

First of all, have you ever tried to put STRONG, coke bottle-looking glasses on an almost-two-year-old?!?

Let me save you my whining and just tell you, it’s HARD. It tested my sanity & emotions daily.  

Second Appointment

We were informed that the glasses didn’t work, which we expected. What we didn’t expect was that the ophthalmologist believed strabismus surgery was our only option. Beforehand, we had been told that drops or patches may be our next step, so this news was just that, news. And it wasn’t the news we wanted. I remember this appointment being the worst in terms of the way our son was behaving. He was a maniac. As soon as she told us we needed surgery, my mind was racing. I had to get out of the exam room with Tripp so that my husband could understand what the doctor was telling us. We left that day with a surgery date on the calendar and our stress levels through the roof.

Surgery Day

We were instructed that we couldn’t give our son any food or liquids after midnight the night before. His surgery was scheduled for 11 a.m. so we were worried that he’d be super thirsty and hungry.

The morning of surgery he (thankfully) slept later than normal, and we kept him distracted until we got him into his car seat. He may have asked for milk once but that was it!

Texas Pediatric Surgery Center

We got to the surgery center and checked in. We only had to wait about five minutes before they called us back. This is the part where Tripp started getting restless. We had to sit in our pre-surgery cubicle for what felt like an hour. They asked us questions and we met his anesthesiologist. She eventually brought him a nose spray sedative that made him a little loopy. I can’t lie, this part was entertaining! He was petting my hair and giggling. That settled my worried-mama- heart a tiny bit.

Waiting on Anesthesiologist

Once the sedative was in full effect, a nurse came and carried him back to the operation room. At first, he giggled when she held him, then they turned the corner away from us he lost it. That sound shattered my heart. We were led back to the waiting room. Then, about 40 minutes later we were being called into a consultation room to speak with the doctor. She told us the surgery was a complete success and she was very happy with the results.

Waking Up from anesthesia

This was the part we were most worried about. We’d heard horror stories of kids waking up and freaking out. I was thankful that we’d been warned because that is exactly how Tripp woke up. They let him wake up a bit before bringing us to his bed, but he was still not having it. He cried nonstop until they let us leave, which was about a 30-45-minute wait to get discharged. He let me hold him, but he was frustrated with his I.V. and kept trying to rip it off. He was so thirsty, the nurse brought him some apple juice and he chugged it. We actually ended up taking it away so he wouldn’t get sick to his stomach.

Recovery

They had taped a thick patch over his eye and told us to keep it on preferably 24hours if he’d let us. We were also given drops to put in his eye to keep it clean. We were told to rotate Advil and Motrin to keep the pain away. A cold compress was recommended as well, but he didn’t care for that.

On the one-hour drive home, he slept the entire time. We went through the Chick-fil-a drive-through because he kept saying he was hungry. We were hesitant to let him fill his belly, but he had some grilled nuggets, waffle fries, and jello. That night my sweet cousin brought us spaghetti and brownies and we all loved it! Not having to cook after such an emotionally draining day was amazing.

The day after surgery

Major concerns about surgery

My personal FAQ section:

(Q) My first major concern was definitely the use of anesthesia on my one-year-old. Would his body be able to handle it?

(A) He did fine with the anesthesia. Waking up from it was scary, though.

(Q)How would he be when he was waking up from the surgery?

(A) He was disoriented, starving, thirsty, and from what I could tell, in pain.  

New Glasses

(Q) Would this surgery even fix his right eye?

(A) 4 months later and his prescription has been reduced by half, and his eye is still straight!

(Q)How long will it take him to recover?

(A)He was playing the evening of the surgery! About a week later he was pretty much back to normal. His eye was bloodshot for several weeks, though.

(Q)Are they going to let me hold him until they take him back for surgery?

(A)Not exactly. They administered the sedative and carried him back while he was still awake. This part was not my favorite.