Mothering with ADHD: How I'm Creating Structure That Works for My Brain

I Thought Structure Meant Rigid Schedules...

Before I knew I had ADHD, I thought structure had to look like color-coded planners, rigid routines, and perfectly executed mornings.

It never worked.

I’d try a new system, get overwhelmed, burn out, and blame myself for not being “disciplined enough.”

Now, I know better.

Mothering with ADHD doesn’t mean I need more discipline — it means I need structure that’s kind, flexible, and actually ADHD-friendly.

What I Need as an ADHD Mom (That I Used to Ignore)

  • Visual reminders (because out of sight = out of mind)

  • Flexible rhythms, not strict routines

  • Low-effort systems that work even when my brain is tired

  • Space for rest without guilt

  • Permission to drop perfection and choose good enough

Here’s What’s Working for Me Right Now

1. I Use Anchors, Not Timetables

Instead of a rigid schedule, I build my day around anchors — things that happen in order but not at set times:

  • Wake up → Coffee → Kids’ morning routine

  • Lunch → Outside time → Quiet play

  • Dinner → Tidy up → Wind-down

It gives my brain predictability without pressure.

2. I Write the Same Things Down Every Day — On Purpose

I used to feel silly writing “make breakfast” in my planner… but now I do it on purpose. Why?

Because my ADHD brain thrives on visible cues and task-based momentum.
Even crossing off little things helps me build flow and confidence.

3. I Build In Margin

I expect things to take longer. I build in breaks. I plan one hard thing per day max.

Margin is my way of being kind to my executive functioning.

4. I Use Visual Systems for My Kids, Too

We have visual checklists for homeschool and morning routines.
Not only does it help my son (who’s also neurodivergent), but it also helps me stay on track without being the human reminder system all day.

I’m Learning to Mother Myself, Too

Some days, structure feels like freedom.
Other days, it feels like trying to herd cats.

I’m learning to offer myself grace — not shame — on the hard days.

Mothering with ADHD is not a failure to plan.
It’s an invitation to design life differently.
Softer. Simpler. Smarter for your brain.

Gentle Reminders for My Fellow ADHD Moms

🌼 You don’t have to do it like everyone else.
🌼 Your brain isn’t broken — it’s just wired for different tools.
🌼 You’re not lazy. You’re managing more than people realize.
🌼 Small systems count. Tiny habits matter.
🌼 You’re already doing more than enough.

Share This with Another ADHD Mama

If this resonated with you, leave a comment or tag me on Instagram @sitwithbritt__ — let’s create space for each other to thrive.

Brittinie StewartComment